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[personal profile] skeeve
When I was a teenager, my grandfather died. We were close, and I didn't take it very well. At the time, I remember thinking, through my grief, that everyone else seemed to be a lot more composed than I was. Oh, sure, I was able to go through the motions of day-to-day life, but everyone else I spoke to at the wake and the funeral, even those who knew Bill well, were all conversing and acting normally as though nothing had happened, or at least as though it hadn't really affected them.

I remember feeling that this was a little strange, not because no one else seemed to care (I wasn't so uncharitable as to believe that; Grandpa Bill touched a lot of lives, all of them for the better), but that everyone else seemed to be dealing so much more gracefully than I was. It was at that point that I decided that this was the essential nature of adulthood - the ability to cope with loss.

These past few weeks have proven my hypothesis wrong.

Death is never easy to deal with. The mind shrinks from loss, refuses to comprehend a void of that nature. I've come to understand, with a new perspective, that the act of normalcy is a courtesy to those around you, to give them the space and time they need to deal with their own pain without having to deal with yours as well. Also, it's a courtesy to one's self, to wait until such a time that you're ready to try and come to terms with what's happened.

To Grandma Chris; we weren't as close as either of us might have liked, but the reasons why aren't important any longer. What is important is that you were there for us when we needed you, and I'll always love and respect you for that.

To Henry White; I may have only met you a few times, but you touched my life, in a way that I'm sure you touched many. I feel like I know you well, through the anecdotes and stories told by your family. It's said that you can measure a person's life by the legacy of joy they've left behind, and if that's the case, then you led a rich life indeed, and I'm glad to have been a part of it, however briefly.

To Heidi; your passing is the most shocking of all. It's one thing to lose an elder, someone whose passing can be rationalized as age, but losing a contemporary throws one's own mortality into such sharp relief. When I first met you, you were so full of energy and optimisim that I honestly thought nothing would ever stop you, in any endeavour. You were always so positive and forthright; if anyone deserved to live forever, surely your name would top the list. But so long as we remember you, you will live on in our thoughts and in our hearts.
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